Free Travel Passes for Dirty Old FФckers
The major problem with the travel pass
Is that it packs the coaches with old folk
Like me. Of course it pains me to be crass,
But, bluntly, frankly no one with egg yolk
Hair, auburn, carrot top, or even brown
(Or brilliant black) boards buses nowadays.
We sit beside each other, thole and frown,
Like Christian straights among a crowd of gays.
We wonder where the young ones are. No doubt
They’re locked in lust somewhere in undyed hair,
The lucky bastards, bitches. So, we pout,
Look out the windows, sigh, try not to glare.
We fantasize about brawny squaddies
Or lush ladettes with fФckable bodies.