…Hard to Protect Softness
Don’t let opponents get too close to your
Important jewels. Don’t let them grab your shorts
And pull on them if you want to be sure
Too hide your treasure chest. Nothing distorts
Your dignity on playing fields as much
As being stripped right down to nearly nude
Unless of course it comes out naked to the touch,
But please let’s try to be a lot less rude.
As luck would have it, sportsmen often wear
A cup designed to give protection for
Their manly junk, their thing and its round pair,
Those fleshy things they use to score and score
When they are lucky and are feeling hard.
But on the pitch they need that plastic guard.
